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May 30th, 2010

marcmagus: Me as "The Enforcer" at a RHPS pre-show (Enforcer)
Sunday, May 30th, 2010 02:55 pm
My partner is not "my woman" (and $50 says I hear that phrase in the next two days and have to go off on a rant), or any other sort of possession of mine, nor a dependent of mine, nor should she be. She is an independent adult who I trust and expect to be fully capable of making informed decisions with respect to her own personal safety.

It is not wrong, unloving, rude, or failing to think in terms of partnership for me to, say, not insist on accompanying her physically through a possibly dangerous part of the world (and I'm not even going to start on the classism and probable racism in addition to the mysogyny inherent in describing I-95 as unsafe for a woman traveling alone). In fact, were she to tell me she had considered the matter including potential safety issues and concluded that she would prefer to travel alone, it would be unconscionably condescending and rude for me to insist on such.

At most, if I were concerned for her safety, a conversation in which I said that there might be safety issues she hadn't considered and offered to enumerate them would be appropriate.

This rant brought to you by my partner's mother, who had the gall to accuse me of putting "political correctness" ahead of appropriate concern for my partner's well-being.