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marcmagus: Me playing cribbage in regency attire (Default)
Friday, November 20th, 2009 11:52 pm

For anybody who doesn't know who Will Phillips is yet, go watch the CNN coverage. I'll be here when you get back.

If you don't have the time or can't view the video where you are for some reason, he's a 10-year-old who has decided he will no longer stand to recite the pledge of allegiance until the clause "liberty and justice for all" is fulfilled. The specific failure he perceives is that same-sex marriage is denied to those who desire it.

There's a lot of discussion about how adorable/cute/etc. he is, and sure, he is. A fact which is totally irrelevant, and which should ideally be removed from the discussion because it distracts and diminishes him.

Put simply, Will Phillips is a better man than I.

He observed an injustice and decided to respond with civil disobedience. He has persevered in face of ostracism from his peers. He has continued despite explicit instructions from authority to desist, and in spite of that authority being used to make his life more difficult. I would be shocked to learn that, in addition to the above [all stated in the CNN report], he hasn't been threatened either directly or indirectly. He continues, and carries himself well, despite the obvious discomfort the media attention is causing to his father.

So please, stop talking about how precocious he is. Call it like it is. Will Phillips is a hero.

marcmagus: Me playing cribbage in regency attire (Default)
Saturday, November 7th, 2009 01:06 am

Just got back from spending about 9 hours at friends' house playing games, sharing a meal, and generally enjoying the company of people whose company I enjoy.

I've realized I don't do this often enough, and it's a major thing that's been missing from my life since I lived in the dorms, and even more since I left Poughkeepsie. I've observed before that I'm a much more social person than I think I am.

And yet, lacking the ability to wander down the hall and bother people, or call a couple people up and try to get a game together, or a daily time a bunch of us tend to gather for dinner, or a whole bunch of semi-scheduled entertainment activities I could go to and expect people to be there if I wanted, I'm finding I have a tendency to stay at home on the computer and maybe watch TV and/or talk to my girlfriend over IM. Which I value, but it's not getting me the comfortable companionship I'm apparently really missing.

I think this is a lot of why I keep entertaining the fantasy of some sort of communal living arrangement with friends who share interests with me. If the people hanging out in my living room were people I was enthusiastic about chatting with, likely to be doing something in my living room I'd want to participate in, and interested in sharing meals and the like, it would go a long way toward recreating that sense that there was readily-available socialization around. Because I can be pretty lazy, and I miss having so many cool people around that I could pretty much always find someone if I was feeling lonely. Not that that was so good for me getting my schoolwork done . . ..

This seems to be turning more melancholy than thoughtful. Ah, well. I miss you, Friends and Family, flung far and wide as you are, and I still love you, even if we haven't spoken in a decade.

marcmagus: Ten the hard way (ten the hard way)
Friday, September 4th, 2009 01:36 am

I'm feeling a little guilty, or something. I encouraged [livejournal.com profile] ogi_ogas to apologize, and he posted something he called an apology but so completely wasn't.

And even though I tried to make it clear that it had to be a real apology, and attempted to give some sense of what sorts of actions he'd have to take and what kind of timeline he'd have to act on to have any hope of anybody at all caring, now I feel a tiny bit responsible for the nopology that did get posted. And I'm worried that, by publicly holding onto that scrap of hope that maybe his eyes would open and he'd have a pretty little redemption arc which wouldn't erase or even mitigate the bad, but would at least spice it with a little good on the side, I may have been doing a disservice to my People. Wasting my own time, that I can handle, but if I actually became part of the problem, not so much.

So I'm feeling a little insecure, tonight, about my role in this whole thing. I'd appreciate reassurance from people who were watching and have an opinion, if there were any. Or guidance, if you think I did slip.

marcmagus: Me playing cribbage in regency attire (Default)
Friday, February 9th, 2007 11:33 am

Sitting here feeling tired and generally unpleasant and unfocused and not really realizing why, I felt a twinge in my wrist and an epiphany. Chronic pain doesn't just manifest as pain in the affected area, does it? In fact, you can experience those "secondary symptoms" while not consciously experiencing the primary sensation of pain? I think this may explain much which was unclear to me in the past...

Comments welcome.

marcmagus: Me playing cribbage in regency attire (Default)
Wednesday, November 22nd, 2006 02:35 am
I'm starting to think that perhaps I shouldn't permit myself to play video games anymore. I thought of this while watching Scrubs. They had a guest character played by Michael J. Fox, who's severely OCD. I saw some of myself in some of his behaviors. Mostly when he's been standing there washing his hands and can't stop. Not that I do that. The compulsion, however, is familiar. And the incredible frustration that he's doing something that he knows he doesn't want to, knows intellectually he shouldn't, yet can't make himself stop. That lack of control over self is possibly the most terrifying and frustrating experience ever.
Read more... )
Please pardon my rambling. I might go back and clean this up a bit. We'll see.
marcmagus: Me playing cribbage in regency attire (Default)
Thursday, July 20th, 2006 03:09 am
I was having a conversation with [livejournal.com profile] mistacat about why it is that I'm still stuck in the rut I'm still stuck in. I was also thinking about various proactive things I have done recently. I noticed that I tend to have occasional phases of frenzied proactive activity, and longer more frequent phases of a kind of lazy acceptance of whatever is/comes. When I'm active, I'm really productive. I work hard and fast and get a lot done and it's all really good, whatever it is I'm doing. But most of the time I can't get up the energy. It's kind of like the "spoon theory" so many of you know about, but in an emotional energy sense, and applied on something closer to a monthly time-scale. (This week I have the emotional energy to get stuff done, but spending it leaves me lying around reading or playing video games for two weeks before I can even contemplate doing anything important again.)

So I noticed that there are two things which kick me into high gear. One is that I get fed up with something simple not working the way it should (for instance, fixing a faucet, or installing/upgrading software because what I have doesn't actually do what I want it to). The other is that a crisis emerges. This is why I thrive in the theater during hell-week...it's constant crisis so there's always something I need to do and I don't come down out of active mode at all until the curtain goes up. Then I go collapse. So, cool, I'm good in a crisis.

So we were talking about how I'm languishing in Poughkeepsie doing fuck-all and wasting away my savings and running up debt and other stupid shit that we all know I know better than to be doing but not actually getting out of the rut. For a long time, now. So I thought I need to manufacture a crisis to force me to act, because the crisis that's coming is a whopper and if I wait until it's upon me, that'll suck. So, maybe giving notice to the landlords, so I'm stuck in a course of action. Seems like a plan.

Then I thought, "Fuck! I need to manufacture a crisis to act? I can't function correctly without crises? FUCK!"

That is all.