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Wednesday, October 11th, 2017 10:43 pm
I just ended my eight-year relationship with Sparr.

He did not do anything I would deem abusive, I consider him safe to date and interact with and will be attempting to stay his friend, if that's something we can do.

I don't want to talk about it any more than that right now.

Wednesday, October 11th, 2017 02:01 pm
The Great Big Dragaera Reread, part 5

VALLISTA HAS SHIPPED! *happydance* Guess I'll have to keep cracking on these. SUCH HARDSHIP.

It's interesting to move from "books I've reread so many times they're like old friends I've not seen in awhile" through "books I know pretty well and enjoy getting reacquainted with" and on into "books I like a lot but don't know as well as I could, or as I think I do."

Klava, Dzur, Jhegaala, Iorich )
Wednesday, October 11th, 2017 02:26 am
Migrated from Miles Vokosigan of FB (who is apparently nolonger in the LJ/DWverse?)

YOUR MISSION, SHOULD YOU CHOOSE TO ACCEPT IT: If you could add one Amendment to the US Constitution, what would it be?

Here's mine (warning: it's a mouthful).

Every citizen of the United States of the age of majority is guarunteed an equal vote and an equal share of representation for senators, as well as for federal, state, and local representitives. Accordingly:

1. No Citizen of the country at or above the age of majority shall be denied the right to vote for any reason save an act of rebellion.

2. The states are required to make sure that all citizens are eligible to vote have the ability to vote in both semifinal and final elections, facing no bars such as unreasonable waiting periods, unnecessary voter registration, or unreasonable demands for identification beyond that needed to prove that they are a citizen of the United States (or for local elections, if that is not required, a local reseident).
a. This also means that a means of voting shall be made available to any citizen who might otherwise have problems voting due to residency, illness, disability, or incarceration.

3. Henceforward, the President and all other top executive offices of cities, states, and the country will be elected via direct popular vote of the populace.

4. No bar should be allowed to an equal exercise of the franchise based on any basis except that listed out here -- including location of residence, except that one must be resident within an area in order to vote for their executive officer or representative body or bodies. As such, the practice of Districting for the purpose of determining voting areas is hereby banned; instead, states and all other territories of the United States must use a voting system that apportions representitives in a manner proportional to the voters preferences.

a. All citizens must be able to vote in national elections and to elect representitives to the governing bodies of this nation, so non-state-resident citizens shall be considered as living in the non-geographical state of United, which shall be given Representitives and Senators as any other state.

5. In order that no cartel should henceforth control the choices available to our fellow citizens, all elected offices will also have their final candidates set via public and open semifinal elections, which like final elections, must allow choice of multiple candidates and produce fair and proportional results. Thus, there shall be one set of finalists for the Presidency and Vice Presidentcy throughout the nation, rather than separate and potentially contradictory sets of finalists in the several states. Congress shall make laws determining how this election proceeds, and whether the President and Vice President are elected and/or nominated together or separately.

6. All election days shall henceforth be national holidays, that no ciitzen be prevented by hardship or financial burden from exercising their rights and duty.
Tuesday, October 10th, 2017 02:46 pm
Last week my boss Clare was in town (she's normally in London), and Wednesday turned out to be Team Outing Day. Dim sum at Kirin downtown (fancy, tasty, not the best dim sum I've had but quite good), followed by an escape room at which we did not embarrass ourselves even though we didn't make it out, followed by drinks.

That turned out to be Too Much Social for me, so instead of going to a stranger-ful munch like I'd planned I just went home. Unquestionably the right decision, even if I regret having had to miss meeting new people.

Meanwhile, on Friday I got a gum graft.

cut for potential squick )

On Sunday I caught what will probably be my only VIFF movie of the year, Bad Genius. It's a Thai film about cheating on exams, and it was fun and tense and enjoyable to watch. I'm not super fond of the redemptionist ending but I'm not sure what sort of ending I would have preferred, so there's that.

I miss complex movies. This one wasn't super complex but it kept me entertained and kept me thinking. Maybe I'll try to make it out to another VIFF movie tomorrow, or more likely Thursday.
Monday, October 9th, 2017 09:47 pm
I don't even know what to say.

I'm thankful for Erin, for my friends, for having a place to live and a job that pays me and isn't destroying my body or soul. I'm thankful that I have the space to sort out what I'm looking for and what I'm doing. I'm thankful that we (I) (we) can start the citizenship application process, that the timeline has been moved up by a year.

I'm thankful that I had the day off, and that I could choose to spend some of it helping a new person pack for moving. And I'm thankful that I'm together enough that I could see warning signs and be wary of further entanglement with that person.

I miss Emily, and my kittens (*sniffle*), and a space that's mine with all my stuff in. I miss Erin though that at least solves itself every few weeks.

I guess I'm thankful that I can feel that.

I'm thankful that I'm still here, ultimately.
Monday, October 9th, 2017 07:00 pm
He called me a palimpsest
As he put his own marks over the traces of bruises
Left on my breast
By another boyfriend, on another day.

And I smile and tilt my head and ask
(because I was sure I knew the word, until I was asked to define it)
"What's that?"

A new document written on top of an old.
Like teeth marks and welts
Bright red on fading purple-green.
Like kisses on lips
That yesterday kissed another.
Like a love that doesn't go away
Just because I've loved before
And doesn't erase the feelings I have for him or him or them or her.

And I am a palimpsest
I am so many layers of so many stories
Built on my skin, a stack of memories
of touch
and caress
and bite
and kiss
Each their own moment.
Their own gift to my body.

A new document written on top of an old.
Not erasing

And I know I am loved.
Thursday, October 5th, 2017 06:39 pm
I just figured out a thing. Part of why I keep tripping up over the Dialectic word in DBT is because I associate it with diametrically opposed, when actually it's about both/and, not either/or opposition. Putting it here to remind myself and in case it helps anyone else who was having the same issue.
Wednesday, October 4th, 2017 10:50 am
What are you reading?

I was away from my Dragaera books last week when I finished Viscount, and Erin's books are mostly unpacked and there's a shelf of "tucker should read these," so I picked up Kim Stanley Robinson's The Years of Rice and Salt. I am *checks table of contents* a little over ten percent through it. It appears to be a sweep-of-alternate-history book, following different characters through the centuries after the Black Death wipes out all of Europe instead of just a third of it, with a loose framing story around reincarnation. I'm not sure what I think of it yet but I haven't given up on it.

What did you just finish reading?

The Viscount of Adrilankha, for which see the medialog post. (Summary: enjoyable, but enjoyable primarily in the context of the rest of the Dragaera books, and bordering on Too Much Paarfi.)

I also finally finished Full Fathom Five. I'm still enjoying the Craft sequence quite a lot, I just have a strong preference for dead-tree books at the moment (and probably in general). One thing I put together just recently: Gladstone's world is explicitly a fantasy analogue of our own. This lets him toss off asides like "Koschei fighting with the Golden Horde" and I immediately have a sense of a sorcerous Siberian at war with steppe nomads. It adds depth to the worldbuilding, and I'm not sure whether it's depth that the world has earned. It feels a little like cheating, is I guess what I'm saying. Neat, though.

What do you think you'll read next?

Back on the Great Dragaera Reread, with the "new" (less than a decade ... crud, not anymore, Dzur was eleven years ago, I guess it's really "post-Blacksburg") Vlad books.
Tuesday, October 3rd, 2017 09:07 pm
I locked my journal down to my Access List a few months ago. 

I have no objections to anyone talking to people not on my Access List about things read here. 

I know there are/were a number of people reading from outside the DW ecosystem and I apologize shutting you out.

I'm trying to get myself more disentangled from[personal profile] jazzfish and this is one of the ways I can create some distance.
Tuesday, October 3rd, 2017 04:51 pm
My contacts survived the week and a half in the dry dry north, perhaps thanks to a frequent application of eyedrops. Evenings without vision were bad enough; I'd prefer not to consider how bad it would have been to be practically blind for multiple days. Uncorrected, I can see well enough not to walk into things, mostly, and I can read on my phone more or less. (Reading on the iPad Mini doesn't work well because it's too big. I can't both see the entire width of the screen and have it be in focus.)

There's a sense of dislocation that comes on me when I'm flying. I don't feel like I'm going to or from anywhere, most times, there's no sense of motion. If it's daytime and I've a window seat and it's not overcast then the ground rushing past can keep me anchored, but this flight I got the tail end of a sunset through thick clouds. Still felt unanchored until sometime Monday morning. Maybe I still do, a bit. Yesterday was blue, like smoke.

The only Tom Petty album I ever owned was his Greatest Hits (I listened to Wildflowers and She's The One a few times but they didn't really stick), but I played the hell out of that CD. Fantastic road-trip music. And "Don't Come Around Here No More" has long been one of my favourite music videos. I think back in college Jonathan had a Tom Petty video collection, on VHS, with that and "Into the Great Wide Open" and "Mary Jane's Last Dance" and the weirdly post-apocalyptic-sci-fi "You Got Lucky". Rewatching that one now, the wardrobes have a deeply contemporary aesthetic. Or maybe it's just that I've seen Into the Badlands and Mad Max and the trailer for The Dark Tower recentlyish. So it goes.

Disjointed, dislocated, disconnected. Drifty. It's a glorious green-gold autumn in the north; down here the trees are starting to fade to dirty brown. I miss Appalachian fall. I'd contemplated going to visit Blacksburg this October. Maybe next year.
We cross our bridges as we come to them and burn them behind us, with nothing to show for our passage except a dim memory of the smell of smoke and a presumption that once our eyes watered.