Baffled

[marcmagus]

Posted anonymously to the LJ of a good friend and lover:

You need to open your fucking eyes and see how disgusting and emotionally stunted Marc is. He is a waste of fucking life.

I don't know what to make of words like these. Anybody who's talked with me about my relationship (with a lower-case 'r') with said person knows that I'll be the first to admit that there are aspects which I don't think I've handled as well as I wish I had, and that I have worries that I may in the long run cause more pain than I have healed. However, I have chosen to trust her to decide about the latter, and I can't undo the former, only try to learn from it and repair where necessary.

To the author of the quoted vitriol, I hope you'll step forward and help me understand why you think so poorly of me. Why do I disgust you? What causes you to believe me emotionally stunted? Why do you believe the world would be better were I not alive? If you'd prefer to talk privately, I'm willing to do so via any medium, including anonymous e-mail if you'd prefer to retain your anonymity.

I have turned off logging of IP addresses for anonymous posters, so you can feel secure in replying anonymously should you so choose without fear that I will track you down. I wouldn't expect someone who thinks so poorly of me to take me at my word that I wouldn't look.

To my friends, I'm posting this in the hope of improving communication and understanding, not looking for sympathy. Please don't waste time posting anything pointing out the flaws of the anonymous poster of the comment I'm citing; I'm not interested in indulging in hatred. Comments which might help me understand and help me grow are always appreciated, however, as are suggestions for how I can improve things or handle them better in the future.

Comments

[ladymedb.livejournal.com]

The first set of comments on this page have some accuracy to them, although the childishness of the anonymous insults really does nearly negate their content.